Certainly, the average fashion magazine gives women ridiculous relationship advice that makes it easy to understand why women are so eager to overcompensate: “Play hard to get, then cook him a four-course meal . . . bake him Valentine’s cookies with exotic sprinkles shipped from Malaysia (just like Martha Stewart). Don’t forget the little doilies and the organic strawberries that you drove two hours to get. Then serve it all to him on the second date, wearing a black lace nightie.” And what is this a recipe for? Disaster.
Especially when it comes to dealing with a man. With one caveat: If you chase him in a black nightie, first he’ll have sex with you . . . and then he’ll run. Why does a man run from a situation like this one? He runs because the woman’s behavior doesn’t suggest that she places a high value on herself. The relationship is new, and the bond between them is relatively shallow. Yet she’s already dealt him her best card. The fact that she is willing to overcompensate to a virtual stranger immediately suggests one of two things. He’ll either assume she is desperate, or he’ll assume she is willing to sleep with all men right away. Or both. What gets lost is his appreciation for her extra effort. Once a man begins to lose respect for a woman because she is willing to subtly devalue herself, he will also lose the desire to get closer to her. Nightie or no nightie.