Some people do know the instant they meet their future partner that this is the person they’ve been looking for all their life. But it doesn’t work like that for everyone. The real advice is that if you’re not sure if this is the right one; don’t take a gamble on it. Because if they are the right one, you will know it even if it’s takes a bit of time. In other words, if it’s right you will be sure – either straight away, or a bit later – but you will know.f you’re absolutely sure this is the right person the moment you clap eye on them, you’re very lucky (unless it happens to you every time, in which case you need to have a serious word with yourself). The important thing, though, is not to commit yourself until you’re certain. How many divorced people have you heard say, Do you know, even on my wedding day I was wondering if I was doing the right thing.’
Well, I can tell you. If you’re still wondering about it on your wedding day, then no, you’re not doing the right thing. What you’re doing is making a big mistake. Marriage and/or kids are tough enough when you are sure you’re with the right person. It’s lunacy to enter into it without even being certain of that. If you aren’t sure right at the beginning, that’s normal. It may take weeks, months or even years to be sure, especially if you’re of a naturally doubtful persuasion. That’s all fine. It’s just that until you really are sure, you shouldn’t be making a permanent commitment.
Your new partner, of course, may be sure sooner that you are. We’re all different. But don’t allow them to pressurize you into making a decision before you’re ready. It’s understandable that they want you to commit yourself – you’re a wonderful person, why wouldn’t they want to be with you? But no one will benefit if you make the wrong decision.
If this is really the right person for you to spend your life with, you won’t be thinking, ‘I don’t know. Is it me? I’m just not sure if this is right.’ Well, it will do. You’ll be thinking, ‘yes, yes, yes, let’s get on with it.’ If you’re not thinking that, you’re not ready to commit yourself yet.