Men need a little coaching, and the way to coach them is to praise them when they behave well. A man’s favorite word? “Best.” It doesn’t matter if you say, “Honey, you eat those beer nuts the best—like no one I have ever met in my life.” Use the word best, and you’ll always have his full attention. Remember, when he behaves like a man and he treats you well, pay a little “homage” to that ego. He should feel like Conan the Barbarian a couple of times a week.
When you’re in front of a group of friends and he steps in and takes credit for something that you thought of, don’t make a fuss over it. He needs to show that he’s the chief. Don’t correct him or try to “show him up” in front of your mutual friends because he’ll feel emasculated. It’s like a mommy scolding her little boy in front of his friends at school. Publicly, he needs to “save face.” For all “egointensive” purposes, help him look manly in front of other people. Let him open doors and let him address the hostess at the restaurant.
When you are truly running the show, you don’t need to tip your hand or flaunt it. If he is treating you like you are his dreamgirl, you have all the power you need. Remember, feminine strength is equally as powerful. It’s poetic justice: Men control the world, but women control the men.
Most women generally won’t say no to any reasonable request made by a man who has just brought a beautiful bouquet of roses. When you appeal to his ego, it has the same effect. He’ll want to remain a king in your eyes, and he’ll want to please you. Men work their whole lives just to have a woman look at them adoringly and say, “You’re wonderful” and “I admire you.” He’ll climb a whole mountain just to feel admired by a woman he loves.
Women who are successful in other areas of life are often the ones who find themselves saying, “I should not have to apologize for being strong.” Then the following week they wonder why they “can’t find a good man.” Because a good man wants a good w-o-m-a-n. Being the bad girl does not mean you lose your femininity. And it also doesn’t mean you overtly try to wear the pants in the house. It just means you don’t allow anyone to walk all over you.
If a man offers to take you to lunch or dinner, let him. If he asks if he can bring over takeout, bring on the egg rolls. If he asks to get you something from the grocery store, let him pick up sorbet in the flavor you like. It isn’t about him paying the three dollars. It makes him happy to feel he’s meeting your needs. And it makes him feel as if he’s “driving that train.” Even though you really are. The hardest lesson for the nice girl to learn is how to receive. Let him give to you, because part of his manhood is defined by feeling “responsible.”