It’s possible this is
one of the hardest things to accept when it comes to matters of the heart. You
find the person you’ve been looking for all your life. Trouble is, they don’t
seem to have realized it.
Maybe you met recently
and you’re head over heels, but they don’t seem very keen. You’re hanging on
desperately, sure that they must soon realize you are made for each other … Or maybe you’ve actually been together as a
couple for years – they are very fond of you, after all, and being with you is
easy – but deep down you know they don’t really love you. Sooner or, maybe, later
they’ll tell you that things just aren’t working out, but you don’t want to
hear it. You try to persuade them to give you another chance. Maybe you try to
change, to become the person they really want. It’s all a bit humiliating
really, but you don’t see it like that. You think it’s worth it to win their
love.
Funny thing is though – it never works. Love just isn’t like that. You can jump through any hoops you like, beat yourself up for not being able to match up to their standard (as you see it), damage your confidence and your self-esteem in the process, and still they won’t love you. They can’t. Maybe they’re gentle and apologetic about it, and maybe they’re unkind or even brutal. The same scenario is played out in relationships the world over – where only one of the two is actually in love. Think through some of the couples you know and I bet you can think of examples where this is true.
I know people who have
been through this, and have taken months or years to realize there’s no hope.
Since then, they’ve found romance with someone who reciprocates their love. And
the interesting thing is that everyone I know who has been through this says
the same thing: thank goodness that other relationship finally ended, because
this is so much better.
You see, however
wonderful the object of your affections is, if they don’t love you back the
relationship will never be that good. Even supposing they could love you. If it
requires you to keep jumping through all those hoops to hang on to them, it’s
just not worth it. You need and deserve someone who loves you for who you are,
not for who you’re pretending, or trying to be. So as soon as you realize
you’re with someone who doesn’t love you, you need to be really brave and end
the relationship before they do. You’ll feel bad about losing them, but great
for holding on to your pride, and one day you’ll look back and realize how
courageous and right a decision it was.
