No, that's not what that means. One of the tragic downfalls of human logic is the tendency to default to black-and-white thinking. "If women don't like nice guys, I should become a total jerk and they'll love me!" That's what most guys who've been nice guys too long tend to think once they start coming to grips with how women actually choose the men they like.
But the truth is, if you want real success with women, you need to go one better than jerk; you need to be a guy who's both cool and charming. Your choices aren't actually only between sweet, harmless nice guy and cold, manipulative jerk.
Look at the movie examples of bad boys. James Bond. Wolverine. Sam Flynn. They're all cool, unconcerned with the stuff regular folks fret about, confident, cracking jokes in the face of danger... but they're not cold, heartless automatons. No, they have hearts – and women can sense that.
You want women to be able to sense you have a heart, but that you don't open it up so easy. That's one of the real secrets of how to be a guy girls like.
It's all too often a girl meets a guy, thinks he has mountains of potential, then realizes as she gets to know him a bit that he doesn't quite meet the expectations she had for him at first meeting.
This realization will help you to understand the two areas you need to focus on as you seek to be the kind of man women find most compelling. Those two areas are:
- Your presence and how you carry yourself and come off, which affects your first impression and how you are perceived subconsciously throughout an interaction and from a distance, and
- Your presentation and how you describe yourself and interact with a woman, which affects your assessment and whether you fit with the impression you make.
Some other men have good presentation but are lacking in presence. These are the guys that women say, "I didn't realize when I meet him how charming/sexy/intelligent/cool he was!" They're the guys who are capable of winning women over once women get to know them.
Presence opens more doors, but presentation is what gets you through an open door. With good presence but no presentation, you'll get a lot of open doors, but few successes in getting through those doors. With good presentation but no presence, you'll do great once you've found an open door, but you'll really struggle to get doors open in the first place.
The key then is to focus on developing both your presence and your presentation. You want to become a man who's both visually, viscerally compelling, and compelling once a girl starts actually getting to know him.
